i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
