Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
