I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
