There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
