i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
