Whod you bang
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
