finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
