I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
