he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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