I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
