I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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