thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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