D3 body, D1 cock
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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