and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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