using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
