My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
