I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
