And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
