question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
