should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
