Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
