LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
