Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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