I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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