Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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