They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
