Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize