Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
