Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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