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So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
All I want is dick and wine.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
