Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
