yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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