he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
