You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
