Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
