it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
