Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
