I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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