the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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