well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
