I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Randomize
