i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
