Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
