Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
