So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
