So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
