farters have to be the big spoon...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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