At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
