I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
