she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
