I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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