nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
