i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
