so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
