good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
