Buhtt sex?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
