Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He did a backflip because drugs
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