Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
