hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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