is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
