You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
