P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
