Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
