oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
