I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
