There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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